I think the last badass thing I have done was shaving my head with a gangster cut across diagonally from the front to the back of my head. And shortly after, I quit my job cold turkey. To most people, this is as badass as I could be being a generally nice and calm dude. Was it the physical change that manifested into a bold career move? Who knows. I just know ever since then, my life has changed.
It's been almost a couple years being a partner in a firm. To my friends I am such a badass. But between my internal freak shows and the roller coaster rides of high/low emotions, this has been the most exhausting experience ever in my life. They all say having your own firm is as rewarding as tiring.
Sometimes it feels like doing my best and working my ass off is still not good enough. I know comparing people to myself will just makes me sad but sometimes. But after a couple of drinks, you start to doubt yourself if you have made the right call. Look, my business partner showed me the absolutely gorgeous Maybeck he wanted to get just under $300K, he travels business class on Emirates and stays at the 4s. He is the backer, he funds this operation. Me, the operating partner, still takes the bus to work everyday, through 2 feet of snow, making an intermediate salary, stuck in the middle seat at Economy for 14 hours, and live in an empty villa filled with temp Ikea furniture. Even my wife joked that I am am so “fresh-grad-asque” for a CEO, facckkkkkkk!! Itell myself to suck it up for 3 years and things will turn around. They are comforting words, but it's really, really, REALLY saddening sometimes.
So let me tell you, being a badass most of the time, means being a lame-ass behind the scene. That means financial setback, pretending to do well, squeezing the last little bit of positive energy to keep the team going, doing most of the work still, and just simply in survival mode 24-7.
If I survive, then call me a badass.