Most people start their own gigs because of two reasons. One, they have enough of bullshit on their current jobs and/or they hate their boss. Two, they hit glass ceiling and feel trapped not being able to grow an inch further in their career. I guess there is a three - a combination of both. Either way there is always some anger involved because along the way, someone or something triggered that negative emotion. Once that seed of quitting is planted, there is only one way it will grow - downward.
I resigned and I got fired on the same day. You know how it goes. During the last few months since you planned to resign, you start not to care much and then every little things would piss you off. Like clockwork, your boss notices your disengagement and he/she also disengages with you. You were once their top performer and now you felt you are being treated like shit; your boss felt he/she has invested and made you the superstar you are, but now you are betraying them for quitting. And so it spirals. At a random company event after a few drinks, you blurbed out some bad things about the company and your boss and so they retaliated. (both parties kept saying just joking but clearly nobody was). You went home pissed, and you told yourself “fuck this shit I am out”. Next morning, you gave your notice and the whole “no, no you didn’t! I break up with you first” happened. Your boss had you cleaned out your desk immediately and walked you out in front of everyone. A dramatic exit that we all love. The truth is, I didn’t make this up. This happens all the time, at least in my industry. Pride, is a tough pill to swallow.
Subconciously when I started my company, I know there is a big part of me just want to prove that I am better than them. I was just pissed. I want to hire all their people, get all their clients, and heck, even hire their cleaning lady. I didn't realize this emotion is driving some of my business decisions. I want them to fail and I want them to know not to mess with people like me. I was wishing for the worst to happen to them, despite how much I don't show it. Internally, it was always “Pffff you just f’ing watch me.”. Ya you bet I wanted to taste revenge so badly. This emotion, as I learned later, is really bad news for business.
Fortunately I had an eureka moment one day. This resentment is totally holding me back to fully commit into the new business I am in. All I was thinking of is to be so good in order to make them look bad. That's really a horrible way to start something. Reality is, nobody really fucking cares. The correct attitude is really to completely disassociate with the past, and really move forward and do something amazing.
Perhaps I don't even want to hire the people from the past. Perhaps I don't call old clients. The fact that I am constantly keeping touch with people from before, is just a lame ass way of lingering to the past, and a reminder that I am not mentally strong enough to get over it.
A lot of people said they will work with/for me in a heart beat. But lately I realized that everyone has their own path. That “heart beat” really translates to "when you are established and can provide me with money, benefits and cool projects of my liking, then I will be your at your side". No one will just drop everything and pioneer something with you just because they liked working with you and thought how you quit your job was heroic and wished they could do the same. When you're starting everything from scratch, you literally have nothing to offer. The reality is I also don't want to hire them either if I am just a life saver from their current miserable work.
Not everyone can make that leap. It takes a lot of courage, and hell ya, it takes an entrepreneur to do so.
I don't think I will ever get over what happened, and once in a while I will feel angry and resentful and the past will haunt me in my dreams. But I feel lucky that I don’t have to focus on that anymore, but to embrace the past as part of growing pain.