I feel like I am constently torn between regretting my life choices, questioning why I am still tirelessly grinding after 20 years yet life still goes at snail pace, and rebelling against the responsibilities running a company and being stable in life.
I really think I am flat-lining here, my life, my career, my purpose.
I just know I am tired, but I can’t stop. I don’t want anyone to lean on me, but I always lend a shoulder. I want to cry but I make jokes about crying. I feel weak but I became strong. I really don’t like working, but I pull 70 hours weekly. Why am I going against me?
Firing people is always awful, firing good people feels even shittier, firing good people who is actually your friend is utterly THE worst.
I love design. Design is my life. But sometimes, just sometimes, I really fucking hate what I am doing, again.
I love design. Design is my life. But sometimes, just sometimes, I really fucking hate what I am doing.
Somethings that take years to learn, but not too late to realize:
Lately i have been bitching a lot (insert crying baby pic here) about work and sacrifices and how everyone does not recognize the hardship i have been enduring to keep the studio afloat.
So let me tell you, being a badass most of the time, means being a lame-ass behind the scene.
Interior Design is like Hollywood minus the money. It's glamourous, it's glitzy and ultimately it's egoistic.
Business travels are mentally and physically draining. Going solo is particularly worse.
Legacy means taking a deep breath, hang tight, and break through.
So, you want to start your own thing. That's pretty bad ass mate. But that also means you are jobless, income-less, and at times, aimless.
Most people start their own gigs because they were pissed at something. This anger, is bad for business.
Ok so I finally started my gig. It this what it feels like?